When I got back from Russia I found in my mailbox "The National Lampoon Treasury of Humor", an out of print collection that I had ordered on Ebay. This book contains the 70's-era piece that Ian had told me about, "How to Talk Dirty in Esperanto." There I found that "Estes mia esprima deziro ke fulmo frapus vian pinon" is how you say "It is my express wish that your penis be struck by lightning" in the universal language.
Another useful sentence in Esperanto is "La grandioza kvalito da via mer-do garantas aboleri la konkurson," which means "The superb quality of your shit is guaranteed to wipe out the competition." From now on, on days when the Dow is down more than 200 points I will provide at least one Esperanto translation, for relaxation purposes. (I wonder how one would say in Esperanto "George W. Bush has the paltry intellect of a lower-status macaque.")
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